what have you done with my mom?

...Last night, during our movie night (Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark), I decided to wash my face and put on a clay mask (to make me feel refreshed, as the label on the bottle claimed). I came back out and sat on the couch. 5 minutes later, Seth finally looks at me. Though the lights are dimmed, he sees my face looking a little green and I tell him, "Mask." He nods his head and goes back to watching the movie.

During one of the best parts of the movie (Indy and Marion together on the boat, so romantic, so sweet, so funny), I say something to Rhett and he looks at me. I have been sitting beside him for 10 minutes with this mask on my face by the way. Anyway, he looks at me, looks back at the tv, then does a double take. His face was priceless. "What did...What is that!" I tell him, "A mask."

R: "A mask?"
me: "yes."
...
R: "Who are you supposed to be?"

At this point, I am laughing so hard. Noah finally looks at me too and his face went from smiling to horror. I have to tell Seth to pause the movie because I am laughing so hard.

me: "Rhett, it is a facial mask!"
R: "Oh. Then where are your cucumbers?"

Five minutes later, my mask comes off. My face is a little smoother. But my spirit is refreshed. The mask did what it claimed on the bottle; perhaps, even more so.

remembering celebrations and so on

...I missed my brother-in-law's birthday. (A card is on the way, Chris!) I think Krista's and Chris' anniversary is today. (uh, no card but have a great day guys!) And I know Holly's birthday is tomorrow. (Have a wonderful day friend! Your card, too, will be late. Sorry.)

Today I am going to take the boys to see WALL*E. They are very excited about it. They deserve the treat. I have probably been a bear over the last two weeks. I think it is just the way I handle things. I have found that I don't react to things right away. I absorb them, brood about them, but don't fully comprehend my feelings until later. It is strange because I wear my emotions on my sleeve, everyone can tell that what I am feeling, but when asked what is wrong I can't tell them what exactly. That is why journaling has helped.

Lastly, I do want to ask prayers and good thoughts for my friend.

Have a wonderful weekend.

follow up to the library

...Can you tell I know a lot of exceptionally literary people? (Look in yesterday's comments to know what I mean) Too bad Krista is out of pocket (hey, I used it too!) because I know she would have had something to say also.

I know about Shel Silverstein and Jack Prelusky. They are awesome and I have been reading the boys those poems for awhile. I guess they just weren't ready for the others. No big deal though. I will keep trying Christy.

Yesterday I was reading Harper Lee's biography and was amazed that I also picked up Truman Capote's biography because they did not just come from the same small town in Alabama, they also were lifelong friends! They begin writing stories together! Wow! (I love when I find a connection to something I was previously unaware).

at the library

...we picked up a mere 25 books in all, a number Seth found shocking, but I think it is a great number to keep us busy for 2 weeks.

Are you wondering what books I picked up? If not, sorry, I'm telling you anyway:

The Poems of Dylan Thomas (Do not go gentle into that good night, Rage, rage against the dying of the light.)

Collected Poems for Children (Why shouldn't I subject my children to poetry? After I read the first one, however, Rhett asked if I could please read a funny one because that just was not cutting it. Sigh.)

Everything I know I Learned From TV (a good one for the pool, I think)

Not So! Popular Myths About America from Columbus to Clinton

I Am Scout: The Biography of Harper Lee

and

Capote: A Biography.

So there you go.

a new week begins

...Last night we let balloons go with notes attached to them for the baby. At first, I thought I was doing this mainly for the boys. For closure. Turns out, Seth and I needed it more. We took pictures, but honestly, they are too personal to share here, so I found this image on the web. Like a child, I like the idea of my balloon reaching all the way to heaven. We watched them until they were no longer visible. Rhett said something like he hoped God would get them before a bird pops the balloon. Seth said God got them as soon as we wrote the notes. And I know he is right.

We made it through the week and I, for one, am so glad it is over and a new week is here. Last week, I kept myself so busy during the day that I didn't have a chance to think. Then, at bedtime, I was overwhelmed by thoughts. After two days of not being able to get to sleep, I decided to slow down. I bought myself a journal and now I write in it whenever I need to. It has helped a lot and now I can sleep again.

This week I want to take the boys to the library, start riding my bike again, start Pilates (I bought a video), plan my trip to New York, and find some fabric to recover my dining chairs. We also have 2 games and a practice for Rhett so we will be busy with baseball for sure.

I want to thank everyone for their kind words and thoughts. It really means a lot to me. I was initially mad at myself for letting my pregnancy be known on the blog. It was too soon, I thought. And then having to write that I had a miscarriage was hard. But after reading everyone's comments, I was no longer mad at myself. We needed that support from everyone. It showed that we have many people who care about us. So thank you.

I'm going to try out my pilates video now. Don't worry, it is only in 10 minute increments, so taking it easy is the only way to go. :)

sad hearts

...I have sat here for ten minutes trying to figure out how to say what I am about to say. The fact is, nothing I come up with will make the fact that I had a miscarriage sound any better than what it is. I hate that word. Even the dictionary has the word "failure" in one of the word's definition. I don't feel like I failed. I don't think I should feel that way. What I do feel is sadness. A deep, deep sadness. Our hearts are broken for what could have been.

I believe God is here with us. I believe He has His own timeline. I believe we will get through this and we will be just fine. But I also believe that we will never forget that our baby, for however short of time, had a heartbeat.

I bought a book titled The Best Poems of The English Language, at least according to Alissa Heyman last week and have been reading through some of them. I found a poem today that resonated with me that I would like to share with you.

The Guarded Wound

by Adelaide Crapsey

If it

Were lighter touch

Than petal of flower resting

On grass, oh still too heavy it were,

Too heavy!

happy father's day

...to my dad, to Seth's dad and to Seth himself.

You know, I think about how blessed my kids are to have such a great dad. And it isn't about the showing how to hit a baseball or throw a football. It isn't about watching great movies with them. It isn't about going to Sonic to get milkshakes together or shop together or playing cards together. That stuff is great, yes. That stuff is important, double yes. But why I think my kids are blessed is because of who their dad is. He lets them know it is okay to laugh at yourself. He lets them know it is okay to be afraid of things. He teaches them about God and Jesus. He pays attention to their questions and listens attentively when they are talking to him. He shows them that working hard and getting a job done right is important. He encourages them not to quit, to keep on trying their best. He lets them know he loves them, no matter what.

I love you Seth. Thanks for being such a great dad to our sons.
****
Dad, a little note: If it weren't for you, I wouldn't have ever learned the importance of checking the oil in my car. I wouldn't have known who to turn to when my brakes stop working. If it weren't for you, I would not have ever "looked it up," and I still would be clueless on a lot of things. If it weren't for you, I would never tell my children they are "more trouble than a goat" or hear Rhett and Noah say, "That's bad business." Thanks for being a cool grandad. I love that my boys think you wrestled with a crocodile. And thank you for always knowing everything. Because of you, I don't even need a newspaper. Ha. Ha.

Happy Father's Day. We love you!

mmm

...I simply do not have any time to blog right now. I just found this at the bookstore...

...and will be figuring out what I want to make first. Chocolate Explosion Cheesecake anyone?

funny

...Last night, I went to get band-aids and neosporin for Noah, whose finger injury from the batting cages is getting to the point of annoying to all of us. Would the darn fingernail just fall off already so I can stop being grossed out (remember I'm pregnant) and Noah can stop crying every single time he hits it. Sigh. Anyway, I also stopped by Sonic and got four $.99 milkshakes for us. I would say this is a special treat, but lately we've been getting these alot.

The four of us were in the living room enjoying these cold treats-Rhett enjoying his without the lid-trying to figure out what we were going to "conversation about" (Rhett's words) when we got tickled at something. When I say "tickled" that means that Seth and I were giggling and Noah and Rhett were laughing hysterically.

What happened next was when I wished that there was a button to freeze time, run and get my camera, take the picture and then press the button back to the present again.

Rhett, somehow, fell chin first into his milkshake. He had his legs on the couch and he was bent over toward the coffee table with his face in his cup. And for a long, few seconds just sat there in this awkward position, I guess trying to figure out how to get up. After asking if he was okay, Seth and I tried hard to play stern. I mean, he got chocolate milkshake on a few places, including the carpet. He shouldn't have had the lid off. Blah, blah, blah.

Seth couldn't hold it in. He burst out laughing. The boys were laughing. I couldn't not laugh. It was by far the funniest accident I have ever witnessed.

i love movies, apparently

...Good afternoon. I am enjoying today. It is rainy and cool--a perfect summer day for doing not much of anything. My kind of day. Of course, we are doing some things. I told the boys we are going to start to clean out their rooms for the big "room sharing" event that will take place, hopefully by the end of the summer (hint, hint Seth). We have a lot to do, but if we take it slow, it won't be so daunting.

The weekend to see the grandparents went well. We saw "Kung Fu Panda" which I happened to think was quite funny. I always love when a kid's movie delights me too. It makes it worth it, you know? Also, mom and I were able to watch 2 movies this weekend: "27 Dresses" and "Juno". We loved them both!

Then last night, Seth, the boys, and I watched "Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade." The boys couldn't get enough! Add a little history lesson about Nazis and Hitler, and it wasn't just an enjoyable evening, it was a little educational too. Who knew?

Have a great day!

right now

...I should be folding laundry. I should be packing clothes, cleaning the kitchen and bathrooms, and taking out the trash.

Instead, I am cruising the internet, looking at interesting things and eating ice cream. Ice cream is such a wonderful thing.

Tomorrow the boys and I head out to see the grandparents (Nana and Pop-I haven't told you yet, so, we are coming!) We are going away before Rhett starts baseball. We are going away because my house may (or may not) be somewhat clean and I want it to stay that way for a few extra days.

Right now, I need to do some things though because the boys want to go to the pool and I can't fold laundry at the pool. Wouldn't that be a sight? Bringing my basket of clothes to the pool to fold while watching the boys swim. Ha!

So, I have to go.

pictures!

...Part 1
Here is Noah with his star certificate. What a wonderful idea. (I might have already said this so bear with me if you have read it before). His teachers got their Super Stars an actual star in the sky. I can't wait to look for it. I don't know if Noah actually understood the coolness of it but hopefully, when we find the star, he'll see.


Noah took this photo of me at his school. I know, I look terrible, but I want to show you exactly what kind of hair condundrum I am in currently. I have been too tired to actually fix my hair so I have been letting it dry naturally and it is quite the curly, frizzy mess. Also, I became pregnant before I could re-color my hair closer to its natural hair color, so the blond-brassy color is about 2 inches from my roots now. So, I am trying to figure out what to do. I know, big problem. (I am being sarcastic. I know it isn't a huge problem, but I am at the point I might want to shave it off or buy lots of hats.)

This is Seth after his hole-in-one over Memorial Day weekend. His parents, the boys and Seth and I played putt-putt one night and it was so much fun. I also had a hole-in-one. Seth beat me by one point. Sigh.
Rhett, not wanting to be left out, wanted his picture taken with his finger in the air. Since he had just taken a 2 on the previous hole (which is great!), I let him hold up 2 fingers. The boys did really well. They had fun and didn't complain most of the time. At the end, Noah got a blister on his foot and broke down but at least we were at hole 18.

We were so glad Nana and Pop came to spend the weekend with us. I think putt-putt was one of the best times we had. We (ok, I didn't go) also went fishing and the boys caught some fish! They were pretty excited. When they told Rhett to throw it back, he took it literally and threw the fish like a football into the water. Poor fish.

And here is the picture I promised you two weeks ago. Noah with no training wheels! He is amazing. It took me so long to learn how to ride a bike. And he learns in his first day. Do you like his vest in the 90+ degree heat? Afterward, he said, "Man, I got hot!" He was happy though. And we were very proud. Rhett had to get a new bike. A 20 incher! It looks so huge and he looks so big on it. No doubt they are growing up...

I'll have a few more pictures later this week. Have a great day!