Tuesday, June 17, 2008

sad hearts

...I have sat here for ten minutes trying to figure out how to say what I am about to say. The fact is, nothing I come up with will make the fact that I had a miscarriage sound any better than what it is. I hate that word. Even the dictionary has the word "failure" in one of the word's definition. I don't feel like I failed. I don't think I should feel that way. What I do feel is sadness. A deep, deep sadness. Our hearts are broken for what could have been.

I believe God is here with us. I believe He has His own timeline. I believe we will get through this and we will be just fine. But I also believe that we will never forget that our baby, for however short of time, had a heartbeat.

I bought a book titled The Best Poems of The English Language, at least according to Alissa Heyman last week and have been reading through some of them. I found a poem today that resonated with me that I would like to share with you.

The Guarded Wound
by Adelaide Crapsey
If it
Were lighter touch
Than petal of flower resting
On grass, oh still too heavy it were,
Too heavy!

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

I wish I could say that you will be back to your same old self soon, but I know that won't be the case. I've been exactly where you are & even today, I think about our little one. Then I see Connor - many times God will intervene in your life in a special way. Watch for those times. You'll be happy again, but that void will always be a small part of you. Take time to grieve, take time for yourself. Love you - Christy

Krista said...

I was going to try to say something profound, but then I saw the poet's last name, and decided that pretty much sums it up. Love you.

Toby E. said...

I don't think there are words to say for you especially from someone you don't really know. But please know I am praying for you and your family.

Abbey said...

Aims, I'm so very sorry to hear this. I can't imagine how difficult it must be. Know we are praying for you and God will carry you through this time. Love, love, love you.

Anonymous said...

Oh Aimee! I am so, so sorry!! Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. Please feel free to call me at any time! Love, Ginger

Erica said...

Aimee, you and your family are in my thoughts.

H Noble said...

Aimee, I don't have any great words of comfort. I'm just so, so sorry. I will be praying for you guys and hurting for you.
I love you,
Holly

Cheryl Wray said...

Oh, Aimee, I am so sad to hear this news. Like most of the other commenters, I'm sure that any of my words of consolation would sound hollow to you. And I don't really have the right words. Just know that people care for you and God will see you through. Take some "me" time and do what you need to do to heal.

{hugs}

Christy said...

I am sorry to hear this and though we don't know each other please know that you and your family are in my prayers.

Mandy said...

Aimee I am so sorry. My heart goes ou tto you and your family. You are in my thoughts.

Andrea said...

I love you, Aimee, and my heart breaks with you guys. May you be somehow strengthened with the fact that God is especially near you right now. "God is close to the broken-hearted..."Psalm 34:18
Sending my love and prayers.